May 21, 2009
Today is Matthew’s 3 month anniversary. I hadn’t even realized it until Amery told me this afternoon. I feel awful. I hope Matthew isn’t disappointed in me. Time is unreal to me. I haven’t slept in 3 months. Some days it feels like he died yesterday, and other days it feels like forever. And really bad days I have a hard time believing he really existed. I hope this gets better with time. I sure do miss him.