Random thoughts

July 7, 2009 at 11:24 pm 1 comment

Matthew's urn.

Matthew's urn.

-Statistics are fine until you become one of them, and then they take on a different meaning.

“All the work to create this baby,
summoning his soul from who know where,
all to end as ashes in a little box.
I can’t stand the endlees goneness of him.” -Claudia Putnam

-When your baby dies, you not only lose a a child, but also your dreams, a part of yourself, a part of your future.

-I am slightly disappointed when a healthy baby is born – they don’t know how lucky they are.

-Some people think pictures after death are greusome. I’m glad I have them. They are real important to me. I look at them a lot.

-Why did the hospital get rid of his hat and blanket? They had his smell and his blood. They were tangible items to bring me closer to him.

-I’ll always grieve the firsts. What would have been. FIrst step, first word, first day of school…….

-The monthly thing of finding out I’m not pregnant is a grief every month.


Entry filed under: Effexor, Infant Death, Infant loss, Pregnacy, Uncategorized. Tags: .

When will people get it? Tiny Feet.

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Beth K.  |  July 8, 2009 at 1:32 am

    I’m sorry for your loss, for Matthew and problems with all of your pregnancies.

    I took Paxil for several years, and even attempted suicide while taking it. I was taken off of it in 2003, and it was only AFTER that when first stories of children on Paxil attempting or committing suicide came out, although Paxil was and is not approved for pediatric use. Then, only within the past couple of years, is it coming out that adults also have a higher rate of suicide attempts – successful and unsuccessful. How can something be “good” and “medically necessary” to treat depression, when it doubles the suicide rate, and causes so many problems with pregnancies and foetuses? Most of that damage in the first 3 months, and women do not know they are pregnant for the first part of that! Yes, a woman who is trying to get pregnant is supposedly warned and put on a different drug, but MOST pregnancies are unplanned!


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  • Is not coping well at all. Loss sucks! 8 years ago
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