I had no idea that going through the costume box for Halloween this year was going to be heart breaking. Maybe that’s why I wanted to sew new ones this year, to avoid the inevitable. Why did this box upset me so? Going through the costumes, I came across the monkey costume that you were to wear this year. Also all the other ones you will never grow into. I can’t stand these overwhelming feelings that jump at me. But I am also glad I do have them. Missing you means I love you. I held the monkey suit for a little while and tried to imagine how you would have looked in it. I assumed pretty similar to Andrew in it. You sure looked like him at birth. I will have to go back to the picture of Andrew and think of you. You would be so cute. I’m sure though, like all our other children, you would spend a lot of your time crying and pulling at the costume. But we dress you guys up in these terrible things because we like it. We love how cute you guys look. And it makes other people happy to see babies dressed up. When we go out for candy this year, you will be with us in our hearts and thoughts. Firsts are quite difficult to deal with, but you are always a part of our life.
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